What's This Stick For?

Let's chat about driving. Specifically, the turning part of driving. More specifically, the notification part of the turning part of driving. You know that stick that protrudes from the left side of your steering wheel? It has a function. Yes, it's true. It's not just a place to hang your purple-haired troll. It actually serves a purpose -- a quite useful and, some might even say, necessary function.

Okay, okay, I know you people reading this are sufficiently intelligent, and considerate enough of your fellow human, to already be completely familiar with the function of "the stick." You have easily grasped the concept of moving it up or down to elicit a "blinking" effect on various parts of your vehicle. And more, you understand the purpose of the blinking.

But some people (non-Blog readers, clearly) believe it's okay to flick the stick up or down very briefly, eliciting perhaps one illumination of the respective lights on their vehicle, and then to just barge right in front of someone in the next lane. After all, they must think, they performed the action as instructed on those flashing, over-the-highway signs, which clearly direct: "State Law: Use Directional to Change Lanes" Okay, so these folks aren't breaking any laws.

So, enough of this talking all around the topic. Here's the stuff that pisses me off:

1. Putting your blinker on just long enough for me to wonder if it happened accidentally while you reached to scratch your leg, and then cutting me off.

2. Thinking that putting on your blinker entitles you to cut very close in front of me, before I've had a chance to react to your blinker and give you the room you're ASKING for.

3. Not using your blinker at all and just meandering from lane to lane, as if you're the sole survivor of a world-wide plague.

4. Not using your blinker until after you've nearly come to a complete stop in the middle of the road, before making your turn. This is really annoying. Generally, there's enough room on one side of you for me to go around you, IF ONLY I HAD SOME CLUE AS TO WHAT DIRECTION YOU PLAN TO GO!

So, as I see it (and I realize this is just my opinion), here's how this is supposed to work...

You want to change lanes, turn, whatever. Basically, anytime you're not planning on maintaining the direction you're already going in, USE YOUR BLINKER! You put on your blinker, notifying everyone else on the road of your intention. This is for YOUR SAFETY! If I don't know where you're going to be, I'm liable to be there, too!

Then you look, to see if your intended direction is clear of other vehicles. If it's not, DON'T GO THERE! I'M THERE! (See Physics 101) Once you're sure your intention is clear to those around you and your destination contains no other vehicles, or no vehicles who, maintaining their current rate of speed, will not soon be in your destination ('cause that's rude, too), go there. Go there quickly. Don't dawdle. Do it.

Related to this, but slightly different... those people who use their blinker and think it's okay to hold up all the traffic behind them to take their intended turn. This is especially annoying when I'm in the middle lane of a highway and someone is trying to merge into the right lane, which is backed up at an off-ramp. You can't just stop in the middle of a highway with your blinker on. The people behind you are coming at you at full speed. MOVE! So you miss your exit. Not the end of the world. Take the next one. But don't stop in the middle of traffic because you failed to plan.

Somewhat related to that... those people who find themselves, halfway through waiting for a red light to change, in the wrong lane for the turn they want to make. And so, the light turns green and they sit there, slightly slanted toward where they want to go and with their blinker on, waiting for the traffic in the next lane to clear so they can make the turn they should have thought about making minutes ago. And you're behind them, honking your horn and waving your arms and they just shrug helplessly, as if to say, "Whadda ya want me to do?" MOVE! Miss your turn. Again, NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! Pull into that McDonald's up there and turn around, but GET THE HELL OUT OF TRAFFIC!

Okay, I feel much better now. Thank you.